1. Snot Nosed Rag

From the recording Voyeur Princess

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Snot Nosed Rag

words and music by Steve Brooks and Marilyn Rucker

I was driving in the country
On an autumn afternoon.
The cedar trees were changing
And the rag weed was in bloom
I'd turned my nose up
When they'd said
This wasn't very bright.
"They're just a bunch of plants," I said
I'm ready for a fight
When suddenly I noticed
That the road I could not see
A yellow cloud of pollen
Was heading straight for me
Malevolent and fearsome
As a swarm of killer bees
It sucker-punched my sinuses
And brought me to my sneeze!
So honk if you know what it is
To rasp and gasp and gag!
And join me in the Snot Nosed Rag!

I've tried those proven remedies
Like shots and docs and herbal teas
Acupuncture, whiskey and homeopathy.
Benadryl and Sudafed
An ionizer by my bed
But none of them can clear my head
Of mucous memories.

So if you're among
The lucky ones
Who never wheeze and cough
You're friends all say behind your back
You really hack them off.
Just live awhile in Austin
And you'll sing a different tune.
Cause allergy loves company
And no one is immune!

So pass another kleenex
And we'll fill a garbage bag
With a bumper crop of Snot Nosed Rags!
We're goin' on the Snot Nosed Rag!