From the recording Voyeur Princess

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Let the Men Buy the Beer
by Marilyn Rucker and Steve Brooks

Let the men buy the beer, dear.
Let the men buy the beer
Or you’ll end up alone and sad and they might call you queer
You must never give them freely what ought to cost them dear.
You’ll rue the day they let you pay so let them buy the beer.

Me mother sends me articles from Cosmo and the Star
They tell me to be lady-like and men will crowd me door
“A lady never pays her way
Or else by men she’s spurned”
I cry “But I’m no harlot
Ma says “You’ll have to learn”


Me mother buys me dresses white to signal purity
She gives me money to cut me hair
And takes me out to tea
She says to be a lady like Jackie O
Or Lady Di
“But I don’t have their fashion sense or cash”
Is my reply


Now mother has despaired of me
I’ve found no perfect mate
And I’ll still buy first pitchers
For the men I chance to date
But I’ve found that men are quick to buy
The next five rounds or so
And I’m grateful for me mother’s words
As home with me they go