Marilyn Rucker

Lyrics

The Airplane Song

Right now I’m the opposite of comfy
Shots of pain keep curling up my spine
It’s seven hours till I’m off the airplane
And I can’t get my seat to recline

Trying to get from LA to Seattle
Changing planes in Boston
Don’t know why
And the pilot just said Well folks
On the airplane
That means kiss your connection goodbye

I’m already scared
Cause before I got on board
I saw the pilot in the bar
Then the drink cart
Smacks my elbow
Kamikaze style
Took me by surprise
Cause I’m not sitting on the aisle

Lady one row back
Has brought her poodle
How I wish this puddle would be gone
As I watch them load my luggage
On the airplane
That’s across from the plane that I’m on

The Airplane Song
It was forty bucks
Just to change my seat assignment
And ten bucks for a drink
It’s pretty brash
And they’re charging now for dinners
ON the airplane
And I’m starved
But I’m all out of cash

They just gave me a three ounce cup of coffee
And I swear they must have brewed it yesterday
There are only seven pillows on the airplane
And they just gave the last one away

How I wish that the guy next to me
Had bathed before this flight
He sleeps despite his screaming infant son
I’d shoot myself
But they made me check my gun

Locked in so I can’t get to the restroom
Yes I’d pee my pants if I should even cough
Oh I’m feeling more like cargo on the airplane
When oh when will we ever
When oh when will we ever
When oh when will we ever take off?