1. Rude Jogger

From the recording Interstellar Pirate Queen

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A true story, based on the tale of the Rude Jogger of Steiner Ranch, who has still not been caught. We made a music video to go with it, which you can view on this website and at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FhYFFMj1OM

More info on the video and on the famous Rude Jogger is available at John Kelso's in depth column at http://www.statesman.com/news/local/rude-jogger-music-video-proves-that-yes-austin-2230513.html


Rude Jogger
When I go for a walk
In my neighborhood
I got my music and my water
And I’m feeling pretty good
But lately I’ve been getting
A big thump on my butt
From some skinny blonde woman screaming
“Move you fat slut!”

She’s a rude jogger.
She’s a rude jogger.

Now I know I’d like my jogging shorts to fit a little better
But I don’t think it’s nice
When she calls me a heifer
And she puffs out her cheeks
And she waddles like a duck
Then she runs like a rat
Or a speeding hockey puck

She’s a rude jogger.
She’s a rude jogger.

Well she hasn’t been caught
In my slow-footed hood
She’s a foul mouthed outlaw
She is damaging goods
But my friends and me
We’re a posse now
We’re gonna knock her off the sidewalk
Gonna take her down

She’s a rude jogger.
She’s a rude jogger.

(Instrumental break)

We got about a hundred of my plus sized friends
And we blocked off the sidewalks from end to end
But when the skinny beyatch
Came jogging by
Nobody could grab her
Cause she’d oiled her thighs
Now she’s a nude jogger.
That’s right a nude jogger.
A kind of lewd jogger.
But still a rude jogger.